Social Not-Working

 

Interestingly enough, the following article I wrote was submitted to CatholicMom.com in July of 2012, and turned down because as the owner of the website said,” I find the tone of this article to be quite judgmental and not a great fit for our site. I understand the theme but feel that anyone who does use FB might feel attacked by your tone. Would you prefer to rework it a bit, or would you like to just take this month off?

Thanks for being a part of our site.” 

Rework it a bit or "just take this month off?"  Really?  I felt like I was back in school being suspended.

After responding and stating that I was sorry she felt that way and that my article was my personal observation and not meant to offend anyone, I received this reply; “Theresa, I understand the sentiment behind your thoughts, but again thought that the article was not the type of tone that we normally run on our site. Thank you for understanding -- we appreciate you sharing with us. I'm just trying to set a very positive tone for our community and so many of our moms are very active with social networking and might misconstrue your comments as a judgment of themselves.”

I have not been able to write much since then. I felt stifled.  This evening I came across this quote: “What is needed now are meaningful ties to family, natural leaders, and community. How much better things would be if we could experience the happiness of truly authentic relationships that a million Facebook friends cannot supply. “ 

From the article “No Nobility of Purpose = No Prosperity

Posted on 2013/02/11 by John HorvatII, http://www.returntoorder.org/2013/02/no-nobility-of-purpose-no-prosperity/

Hurray!!! I feel my original thoughts on the subject were validated !! 

www.returntoorder.org is associated with AmericaNeedsFatima, www.ANF.org,  a Catholic website.

I hereby publish my article, my personal experience, frustration and/or opinion on social networking on sites such as Facebook with no intent to offend anyone who enjoys it and finds it fulfilling in their own personal life. 

 Here is my original article which was not accepted by CatholicMom.com because I did not “rework it a bit”. 

When I finally joined the rest of the world and created a FB account, I felt great!  All these people were there welcoming me aboard!  I couldn't believe how many family and friends had already belonged to that site long before I gave in and joined.  The reason I became a member of FB was a little weird to begin with now that I think about it.  It seemed my best friend knew about things that went on in my kids’ lives that I was unaware of.  Did she have a crystal ball? She would call me to inquire about calamities that were happening within my family that I had no knowledge of, simply because, as it turned out, I was not a member of Facebook.  My friend would see the comments and pictures that my kids would post, and then call me to ask what was going on and if everyone was ok.  I could only respond with, “Why don’t you tell me, since you seem to know more than I do.”  So, I originally joined with the statement:  I only joined FB to see how my family is.

 

Rather than being a "social" network, I began realizing it was about social not-working.  On FB one can be honest or dishonest and even feel totally free to   share things with the world that you would never dream of sharing around the dinner table.  You can actually replace a one- on- one relationship by simply requesting someone's friendship and go from "up front and personal" to just another brick on your “wall”, literally.  What started out as fun and actually a way of communicating had disintegrated before my eyes into an electronic chat room where no one actually chatted.  We repost thoughts, opinions, pictures, and trivial dribble mostly written by someone else. and/or that no one really care about; like how long you were stuck in traffic?!!  No one is "online" to chat in person when you are. You might see them as "online" but you will be told that they weren't really there... their smart phone just makes it appear that way.  I'd much rather hear that you were too busy playing angry birds or slingo bingo. Really.  So, there appears to be no real networking going on during one's time staring at the screen of this particular social network.  You can scroll back till the day you signed up, searching for meaning or a reason why you should continue to remain (dis)connected. Yes, it's a great place for the insomniac. It will bore you back to sleep. Since I have closed my account, which by the way is truly an oxymoron, since no one can ever really close their account, I have found out that I can talk to real people in real time about real things that the whole online world doesn't need to know about even if they did care!  I can speak from my heart and not search for just the right status update to post.  I can tell when you are being sincere, because I can actually see your face and hear your voice.  Life, it turns out is fabulous!  Real life encounters of the real kind are simply amazing!  Someone should have come up with this idea sooner!  Bye for now FB. It’s time to find a healthy balance between real life and online life.  I think for now, when I want to play a game with friends, I will invite them over my house and we will share food, a glass of wine and a lot of love and laughs in person.  We might even give a real hug and not one of these ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) to show our affection and appreciation for each other. 

P.S. - Since writing this article, I have checked to see if my FB account was closed and sure enough I was able to log back on like I never really left.  All my friends and family connections still there, photos, etc.  It’s somewhat creepy!

Time to go... I have plans to make and people to see :)